Tell me what it's like, to feel okay with the person that you are.

I'm hurting. Just a little bit. It was a bad tic day today, and I'm trying to blow it off like it was nothing, but it was something. It meant something to me. It meant that once again, I am proved to be a person who preaches and screams and fights for the simple idea of being okay with the way you were born, yet I still have not quite grasped that very concept for myself. I don't like twitching. I don't like making weird noises and people staring at me. I don't like fighting myself to keep my eyes focused on the ball during a game when all they want to do is roll back into my head or move away. I don't like when my fingers spasm and jerk; it hurts. It hurts to stretch my neck back and it hurts to put pressure on my ribs and push my tongue against my teeth until it is rubbed raw and bleeds. The physical and emotional pain drives me crazy sometimes. I want out. Not from life, but from this thing that's hanging onto me and will cling to my tired body for the rest of my existence. I'm letting people down as I type this, but it needs to be shared. Oh.